So, maybe it's the change in the weather; maybe it's the start of another school year; maybe I'm just crazy. But I am finding myself wrapped up in a fit of nostalgia lately. Why am I wishing to go back to the days of an 800 square foot condo, hauling two kids up the stairs with 20 bags of groceries, a train blaring passed my house 50 times a day, having little privacy? It seems that although I have lived in my new house for over four months now, my heart hasn't totally surrendered the memory of my old life yet. Strange?
I miss the familiarity of my surroundings and knowing everyone in my complex. I miss Provo Library story time, the Bean Museum, and taking Adelyn to the kids' playground at the mall. I even miss my crazy ward, with all the insane happenings and my multiple heavy callings. But mostly, I miss my good friend that lived just two buildings down. Our two-hour walks, sharing in one another's projects, showing each other our latest decorating additions, sharing stories and trying to make sense of our world, trading recipes and secrets to sanity. Two years passed by like it was minutes, and it all seemed to be gone before I could fully appreciate it.
Why is life like that? Do I always have to take everything for granted, never fully appreciating what I have until it's gone? Why can't I just live in the moment. Back then, I was always thinking of the future: what was next. And even now, while I pine away for the "good old days," I am most certainly overlooking and under appreciating everything I currently have. Once again, I find myself forgetting to be grateful and to just live in the present.
New resolution: I will look to the past with joy, will look to the future with hope, but will live in the present with gratitude, seizing every moment and cherishing it with my whole soul. Life is far too short and fleeting otherwise.
8 comments:
You say things so well! I totally agree with living in the now- With Jonathan he was slower in things and I just couldn't wait till... now I am just trying to enjoy cause Sarah is not going to be a baaby for long!
Well said, Juice. I miss Provo Library story time too! Way to have a great perspective on life.
That sounds like a great goal, and one that I need to do myself!
I miss you too, Julia!!! Thank you soooo much for calling me yesterday, it made me feel very loved! I so totally miss last year, i can't even tell you! :( But I so love coming to your house and hearing about all your new adventures. I'm glad we're still making the effort to hang out even though we're not so close anymore!
Nostalgia or melancholy only hampers our ability to look with optimism to the future. Thomas S. Monson addressing the priesthood said, "One writer said that the door of history turns on small hinges, and so do people’s lives. If we were to apply that maxim to our lives, we could say that we are the result of many small decisions. In effect, we are the product of our choices. We must develop the capacity to recall the past, to evaluate the present, and to look into the future in order to accomplish in our lives what the Lord would have us do."
What a great goal we can all set. Once we embrace where we are (in life, etc.) that's when we can appreciate what we have and grow from there. That's something I've got to work on for sure. Otherwise time slips away too quickly.
(BTW I tagged you on our blog. Can't wait to read what you write)
Reading your post made me miss Provo as well. We had so much fun down there. Everyday I run, I miss the runs with the girls and just being at BYU and the fieldhouse and the track trips in the minivans, and the talks between runs...I wish we could go back for just a day sometimes!
I totally do that when fall hits. I always want to go back to school. It's crazy but for some reason I love to think about school in the fall. That is a great goal though.
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