Growing Up

From previous experience, I've learned to dedicate the entire month of January to sickness. I keep my schedule completely open knowing that inevitably we will spend most everyday inside coughing, sneezing, moaning, blowing our noses, sucking on cough drops, throwing up, etc. Who could want to do anything else, right? So, I kept January pretty low-key and waited. Much to my surprise, the sickness never came.

Then came February. Ryan was the first to get hit. He was slammed on his back and missed three days of work (which is VERY uncommon for him). Then Preston got a fever. . .and no matter what I did, it never broke. He developed a RED head-to-toe rash and had a sore throat, congestion, and a cough. After three days of coughing, listlessness, and unrelenting temperatures of 104 and 105 degrees (and many conversations with my pediatrician's nurse), we took my poor little guy to see the doctor. He had strep throat with Scarlet Fever! That sounded like something people got in the 1800's; I don't recall ever knowing of someone having it. Well, we welcomed the antibiotics and I stayed up all night with him patting his body with cool rags and praying for the fever to finally break.

Meanwhile, Adelyn woke up the next day screaming in pain from her ear and throat. She and Annalise had also been fevering for several days. We took both the girls in thinking they too had strep, but Adelyn actually had an ear infection (more antibiotics for her) and Annalise just had a cold (thank goodness!).

Now we are all recovering. Preston's skin is clearing up, but peeling some. The kids' appetites are gradually coming back. All is well. But I just wanted to report that I think I'm FINALLY growing up! This is the first time that all my kids have been sick (oh, and I was sick that whole time too, by the way) that I managed to keep my head on straight and just take the obstacle with true patience and faith. Too often I get in this "wo is me" state and it makes situations like the past two weeks twice as difficult to deal with. It lessens my compassion and my connection to the Spirit, and I end up feeling really alone and miserable. This time, I am pleased to report that I truly did all in my power to just take it one day at time, even one hour or one minute at a time when it was really rough.

Well, as a result, I really feel that I have matured as a mother. I felt able to administer to my sick ones, at whatever time of night and through whatever hardship, and I was able to lose myself and love them the way Christ would. It is true that in losing yourself in service you really find yourself; find your true purpose, and love it. I feel all that much more confident in my ability to be a good mother, which is something for which I feel daily insecurity. This is probably old news for most mothers. I am embarrassed to say that it has taken me almost six years to reach this small milestone in my motherhood career. But that's life, I guess.

I heard a quote recently that I absolutely love. It is Julie B. Beck's mother's motto: "Welcome the task that makes you go beyond yourself, and you will grow." I have really been trying to imprint that thought upon my heart and feel grateful for the things in my life that test me, rather than just getting caught up in feelings of inadequacy and being overwhelmed. I feel like in a small measure the commitment to live with a more positive attitude has made a bit of an impression. And for this, I am very grateful.